Some call them Yo-Gen
Mohandas Pai calls them the Facebook generation.
Andrew Symmonds calls them the X-box generation.
Whatever you call them, it's hard not to cringe when you see them.
They are everywhere, they have invaded India and created such a frenzy that even Reliance India Mobile could not in the year 2002.
Recently I went to a coffee shop, there was no space to sit. After a while the guy at the shop showed us a table.. we went in and saw hordes of the 'barely-twenty-but-already-a-star' people.
Everyone was being cool in his way.
A guy with an outlandish hair-do waved at the guys at the next table and said, "Yo homies, hows the fun going?"
The guys at the next table, equally despicable of course, replied - "Koul"
I wanted to pee on them.
Homies?? What the F? Too much of watching the b-grade hollywood movies where every black-goon is a homie to the other ugly black-goon.
And 'Koul'? What the hell is Koul?
Had heard of equally obnoxious terms like kool, kewl.. but what on holy mother earth is koul?
Is it the name of ekta kapoor's owl?
I always had a problem with the word 'cool' too which was a rage back then in the 90s.
X : How are you?
Y : Cool!
What's cool? Are you a reptile or a cold-blooded animal?
Is your body temperature below zero and does it change with the temperature outside?
And the Americans call the Brits stupid.
Despite the accent, the Brits at least have a cleaner tongue.
The Americans basically have Mumbai-ised the British English.
But maybe because I grew up with 'Cool' or 'Kool'(like it became in the late 90s), I have got used to it.
But the current breed, the oh-so-SMS-friendly crowd is way ahead.
Their arthritis-ridden fingers are so adept at SMSing, that they could put a piano player to shame. Such is the speed that you sometimes have to go wow, however disgusting it is.
To quote Andrew Symmonds,
"When I mention having a beer to some of the new generation guys, they look at me like I am from another planet. They want to run off to their rooms and play Xbox."
So the concern that I share is not isolated.
The whole generation is getting crippled. The manly and womanly characteristics are vanishing.
Under outrageously fashioned hair-dos, there sits a mind which could have been brilliant, but chooses to be whatever they call 'koul'.
I still cannot understand what the heck is 'Koul'.
I know it must be just that guy. Maybe he wanted to say 'kool' but his oral cavity was so full of hukka smoke that he went 'koul'.
They are in swarms everywhere on the television too.
The gelled hair rising from the centre of the head like a volcano from a burning mountain.
The improvized stubble with a few designs on it, a chest hugging tee with tacky lines like :
"Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!"
"Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart"
"Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin'"
OR this one for the pencil thin females :
"I'm wearing Revlon colorstay lipstick, want to help me test the claim it won't kiss off? "
Worse still, they are all over MTv and Channel V too.
But one has to concede that they look good. Its only when they open their mouth, that it stinks.
Now don't get me wrong. There are many good, intelligent and brainy people too.. but its just that they have been grossly outnumbered by the 'bubbly-youngistan-ka-wow' generation.
To add to the ordeal, they have made Facebook their mouthpiece.
They use it to tell the world, when they got up, what they are seeing, when they are going to the loo and what they are doing there.
They also tell the world how ugly and idiotic their dad is.
They have to 'like' almost any message that someone posts on FB.
Mr X is bored and wants to scare the shit out of his pet hen.
Mr. Y, Mr. Z and 3016 others like this.
Some more salt on the wound.. i was checking my own FB which is relatively a lot 'cleaner'.
A friend had this written on her wall by a 'kid homie' :
"Take down ma numb and mak sum plan. Lets all cum on saturday"
Take down ma numb and mak??
Holy mother of Jesus Christ, whats wrong with the kids today? Have they been snorting cocaine?
'Ma numb' meant 'my number' for the uninitiated antediluvian creatures.
Why has the poor 'make' been circumcised to 'mak'? Does your keyboard charge you for every letter you type?
And the second second sentence.. "Lets all... whatever... eww... eww"
Your imagination is as good as mine!