Is anybody in this world really good or bad?
I have always believed its only the situation that makes them behave in the way they do.
But then if its only the circumstances then stars should be blamed for everything that goes wrong on our planet.
There is another hidden factor called demeanour.
Demeanour is something that is going to save you from situations when you have a slight upper hand in a conflict, it
will also make you victorious when you are the victim.
What the hell is demeanour now? Is it something which is genetic or cosmic? Or can it be acquired?
I am reminded of a line from the movie Rocket Singh :
"Every person has 2 qualities. One which will take him up and one that will take him down. Whichever one he takes, his life only becomes a manifestation of that path"
I recently had one such experience.
I was in Ekaterinburg,somewhere in Russian hinterland for official work.
I was lonely because I was kind of cut off from my world and my people.
The loneliness coupled with inclement weather, irritating rains and sub zero temperatures were a bone cracking deal for me.
The people from the client organization I worked with were not favourable either.
Few of them were good and amiable, but most of them were mocking birds.
The smallest hint of an issue and their scoffing smiles coupled with the 'looking down' behaviour killed me.
The lady 'second in command' on the other side was leading the way.
Now I really don't know if that person knew much about the work done, but every small pin drop was potrayed as a rocket launch failure.
Plus as an Indian, I was deprived of any decent food for four full days.
I only had cup noodles for lunch and some ready to eat stuff in the nights.
All these were not honeymoon conditions.
They were taking a toll, but I remembered that line in Rocket Singh.
There was one occassion when I had the 'second in command' firmly under my grip and I could have chosen to twist the neck of the opponent.
But I knew that would only make things worse. I resisted and the results started showing in 1 hour flat.
The other person realized the mistake on their part, but did not apologise. I wasn't complaining either. My point had been made.
I moved on.
The last day, the 'second in command' came to my desk and thanked me for whatever I had done. The other people who I thought were my opponents too came and we clicked pictures together.
The one that made my day was something like this :
When I was leaving the building finally, a nice sweet lady in her 20s maybe smiled at me and said 'Dasvidaniya, come again'.
I was zapped, I even did not know who she was.
On my way back I was thinking who she was. Suddenly it dawned upon me... I had gone to one person from the other organization to explain something. She was sitting by her side and doing her work.
Seeing that I was helping the first person, she asked me how to solve particular problem.
I did not pay much attention to her because I had gone to do something else.
But then I realized I can help her with her problem, it was a small thing. I did and left.
Then I fogot about her completely.
The last day she was near the door when she greeted me.
That was when I started thinking that nobody is bad or good.
Circumstances also don't make you bad or good.
The way you react to a situation is what forms a perception about you in the world.
Its not that Mahatma Gandhi never lost his temper, but he knew how to react at the opprtune time and that made his image in the world.
Smiling I came back from Ekaterinburg.
I had won because I won over my ego. Not because I defeated someone.
I won because I knew the other person realized his mistake and came to my desk to talk after the stalemate.
Everytime a person reacts, he is making an image of himself which will affect someone.
This may not be significant to him, but he either makes an enemy or a friend for life.
Come to think of it, you or anyone else in this world is just a chemical which has a finite life. After that you cease to exist.
In that short life, you can either choose to do whatever makes you happy or let go and be happy and make others happy as well.
Too much of righteousness at most times causes problems for the people around you.
The choice is to each individual to choose the quality which takes him up the ladder or the one that brings the ladder crashing.